This past weekend, a family conversation about Amazon Prime unearthed the fact that because of his email extension, my husband could actually get a discounted student account himself. I protested mightily, because that would not be honest. And I got the stink-eye as two family members pointed out… accurately… that Jeff Bezos does NOT need our money. Nor would us paying full price for Prime trickle down in the slightest to the bazillion employees who DO need more money.
Still, I planted my flag in the dirt and said that doesn’t matter. The point is, it’s dishonest.
Later, I got to thinking about a recent process of buying a vehicle, which involved another is-it-or-is-it-not-justified? minor dishonesty. Because car dealers are being dishonest, and the only way not to get taken advantage of is to be dishonest right back. Right?
(But Moooommm, HE’S doing it!!!!)
All this got me to thinking about how many situations in life in this imperfect world require us to compromise on the Christian value of truth-telling. And how we just sigh and shrug and accept that this is the way it is, as if it doesn’t matter when we break commandments, either because it’s in our own self-interest or because the system is stacked somehow and that justifies us cheating.
But I would argue that when we learn to accept little lies, it numbs us. And then the big lies become the kind that break relationships. Or in the wider world, they lead to conspiracy theories and political hills to die upon.
This is not surprising, actually. You start with small lies in your self interest, and we all get used to it. And then the courts, in the name of “freedom,” remove the requirement for honesty and transparency surrounding campaign donations, and now we have Russian spammers and bots influencing our elections with more lies and misinformation and distortions. To say nothing of bad actors within our own system.
Even well-meaning people working within our own system fall into the trap. In my own state, there’s currently a signature campaign going on to get a pro-choice amendment on the ballot. The pro-life movement has been on a “don’t sign it” campaign. Over and over they cry, “Don’t let out of state money influence our politics!” But is it even remotely possible that the pro-life efforts to prevent the signatures are NOT receiving out-of-state money? I’m having trouble imagining that to be true. That’s how this works now. And if I’m right about the pro-lifers receiving out-of-state money, isn’t there a fundamental honesty problem about protesting out-of-state money for the opponent? It’s fine when my people do it, but when the other side does it, it’s terrible?
As usual, I have no solutions. Dishonesty and double standards, it seems to me, are getting more and more baked into our culture. I just want to point out that dishonesty is here, all around us, and we’re all caught up in it.
And not just politically. In fact, I think it’s the participation in everyday white lies that dull our awareness of dishonesty and hypocrisy in our own lives. Which then numbs us to it in weightier situations, especially the ones where we already feel we have no little or no sway.
For myself, I’m trying to cling to Jesus’ words: “Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. Anything more is from the evil one.”
I agree. I remember when I finally accepted this; I went to confession and confessed downloading music using means that "everyone else" found acceptable.
Some really important thoughts here. Thank you!